she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
