It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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