Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
