"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
