omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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