dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
