who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
