you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
