drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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