Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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