You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
