He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
