Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my liver is dry heaving
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
