Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
