We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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