That's intense
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
