What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
