If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
