talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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