I want to stick my p in your. b.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
