i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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