Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
