We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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