Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
