i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
