wanna go halves on a baby?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I want is dick and wine.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
