Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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