Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
