Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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