Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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