Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
