So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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