I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
