Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
