I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
