we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
