I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you didnt know i had herpes?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
