she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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