Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
