i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
