You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
