honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
