Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
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started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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