Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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