your thong is hanging out like whoa
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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