Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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