I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
