so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
