Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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