covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
