So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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