last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
