yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
