I don't think brook has ever known best
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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