I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize