my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
