I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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