there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
there is glitter all over my balls
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