The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
