Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
