Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
