North Korea, Best Korea!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
