She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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