Your tits are I can't wait for
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
