You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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