i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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