gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
