I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
