How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
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he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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