Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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